rewind in order to go on

Why am I doing this ? because I need to figure out a way to go on and stop caring. I need to figure out a way to be happy again without him. I need to understand that its over and that he does not want me back and that he never wanted me for real..it was just a short illusion in which only I got too involved and ended up caring and hurting like Im hurting now. Does he still love me ? NO. Do I still love him ..clearly yes from the quantity of pain he produces in me every time I need him back and he pushes himself further and further away. How do I stop loving him even after the divorce? This is in fact the question for which I need to find an answer in order to cure myself. I need to convince myself that its not him whom I need but the attention and care and emotions of which he has deprived me for so long... every time we had a fight it was due to the lack of attention he has provided me. this is just the beginning of a new begginning.